Pokemon GO : The Noble Candy Threshers of Professor Willow

I should be writing another installment review of Macross Delta, but I've been 'should do'ing that for over a month now.

I should be honest with myself and you, dear reader, and confess I have no idea when I will find the willpower to rewatch the rest of the episodes and sum them up. For now I will suffice it to once again stress that the protagonist Immelman can dance up his own ass and die and spoil the finest point in the remaining series when the Macbeth Delta (the shipmech itself) saves another ship with failing power by mechacocking it back to life.

The entire thing is basically a benevolent HumpBot.

So, taking a break from that to get back into stride of writing I will in this article be reviewing that plagueish fever taking the world by storm, Pokemon GO.

Ostensibly you'll want to collect all the kinds of pokemon, but unless you happen to be wealthy enough to take a world tour you might as well kill that dream right now as right now only 142 or so are theoretically acquirable in whatever region you happen to be in.

It's possible, technically, very much like winning the lottery only nowhere near as useful.

Anyhow, the game is played by wandering around aimlessly using a just-shy-of-utterly-broken Pokemon Radar to find select pokemon. When a pokemon appears, you will attempt to smack it with your balls in the hopes they will be stuffed within- though they may bust out of your balls several times and ultimately escape.

This sad possibility can be minimized with bribing the pokemon with sweets (Razz-Berries), bonking it with better balls and hitting it with fancy throws.

Once captured you will take along with the pokemon a measure of stardust and a species specific 'candy', the pokemon's lunch.

The stardust, in combination with the 'candy' can be used to power up the pokemon, but this is not something you will rationally want to do until level 30 or so- the level at which you are capable of seeing and thus capturing the most powerful of the wild pokemon.

So, until that point resign yourself to the fact that nigh everything you catch that isn't the sole example of the species that you have is doomed to be transferred.

Don't get too attached.

This one, however, shall live.

Besides, for every pokemon you send Willow he will send back a peice of 'candy' of that Pokespecies which will be handy as you gain experience by evolving the other pokemon not yet sent for threshing.

Eventually you must pick a Poketeam for Pokebattles at the Pokegym- your only hope for getting Pokecoins without paying real money.

Mystic Blue is generally the larger team, Valor Red is the second largest and Instinct Yellow is technically competing.

"Hi! I'm Candela, I recognize Pokemon are superior beings worthy of being our Overlords!"
"I'm Blanche, it doesn't really matter what I say as studies show most of you will choose my team just because it's blue."
"HELLO I AM INSTINCT, SPARK GOOD!"

All teams are just fine, I myself wanted to join Mystic as they seemed the most likely to realize the threat of Pokerevolt but ultimately joined Valor because I wanted better odds of swiping gyms without having to compete with my own team. (I also have a limited contrarian streak that compels me to avoid joining the largest team.)

This is good as it's the sole way of earning PokeCoins without having to pay real money for them, but Pokemon GO is cagey as hell about how to do this. What they don't tell you, for example, is that if you take a gym and don't cash out and claim your PokeCoins before the gym is taken again by another team- you lose them. They also don't really mention the how to cash out, which is by hitting a shield button in the top right corner of the PokeStore.

You can only cash out every 20 hours, but you probably will want to do it immediately when most gyms in an urban area change hands faster than Instinct Team Leader Spark changes his diaper- and he's well-practiced.

All said though, despite a hideously broken radar which doesn't help you find anything(which the savvy player has for the time being replaced with Pokevision) the game is great fun and is a fine way to get your battery drained while in countries that do not offer unlimited internet usage by smart phones- grow a nice fat bill.

But at least you'll be slimming down personally.

THINGS POKEMON GO DOES NOT WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT :

Just note that you are not going to become the best like no one ever was. Indeed, in this game you are not going to be a Pokemon Master but more like a Fantasy Dog Catcher that takes great glee in marking off breeds they catch for the first time. One of the many things you are pointedly not supposed to think about in Pokemon Go especially is what becomes of Pokemon you transfer to Professor Willow, or what Pokemon Candy is made out of.

Well, Pokemon Candy is made of Pokemon. It even says so on the tin. For example, 'Pidgey Candy'.

Why then is it that you find candy on Pokemon you find?

It's being distributed to them as food.

Where is it coming from?

The Candy Threshers of Professor Willow. Really, what the hell did you think he was going to or even COULD do with 30 million zubats, Pidgeys, Rattatatta etc.

WHY?!

Because in Pokemon GO you are helping keep an ever-burgeoning Pokemon tide manageable. How many pokemon must there be when so many people are drowning in Pidgeys despite so many players? This is a world on the verge of environmental collapse, clearly.

Fortunately Professor Willow has found a solution in Pokecannibalism, Trainers, and his Candy Threshers. You send him all of the pokemon you can't be arsed to power up, he turns them into 'candy', has the rest dispersed among the Pokepopulations to deter them from preying on Humans and likely collects a fat check from the government for holding back the Pokepocalypse.

Sure, it may sound gruesome, but if the Pokemon aren't fed and turn on Humanity....

We can't afford to take that risk.

Additionally as a refresher for the old players, the intrepid Lemon Demon has seen fit to re-record the Pokemon Rap.  A Pro-click.

Finally, Don't Be These People.

Macross Delta Episode 8 : Heinz Likey

Right, so when we left the Immelman, Mirage and Pixie they had been captured by Booger and the Blowhard Knights.

Happily we get right into that as Booger personally punches Immelan.

SHLUB DOWN!

High point of the episode.

Anyhow, despite the eagerness of Booger and the White Knight of Windermeer to execute Immelman and Pixie we know better than to expect that. They're special.

The joke is on Roid and Hermann though, Immelman, Mirage and Pixie don't know anything at all.
Nor, at this point do we as...

But... don't they already have it?

Meh.

Meanwhile in defense of the other Musical Girls Messer is having... a bad time.

But not because of this.

No, Messer having to shoot people in person rather than in a jetmech has apparently triggered him

He still manages to escort the other Musical Girls to regroup, at which point they remember they have bullshit musical hologram clones which they then employ to rescue Immelman and Co.

These sure would have been handy in avoiding capture to start with, you know.

These... Sliceable Holograms of the Future.

I for one already noticed.

And then they all made it to their ships and began the obligatory dogfighting to J-Pop. Immelman has to fight the Mind-Controlled Catman Dad from the last episode, but is saved from killing them by Pixie running to the battle and singing at the Cat Dad.

Rune erect, Catdad is saved.

The Blowhard Knights of Windermere call in Prince Heinz now to reinforce the mind control they're using on the planet. Musical Girl Squad notices that the ruins amplify this 'Song of the Wind'. So much so that it starts to effect Messer, who turns out to be Roidrage infected and pointedly NOT cured of it by any of the J-Pop songs he has been CONSTANTLY EXPOSED TO, which kind of makes me think Musical Girl Squad's powers are a bit overrated.

To counter Prince Heinz, Musical Girl Squad sings more and Pixie in particular sings so hard that Heinz hears her and gets a double-rune hardon.

His face says 'I don't sleep well.' His runes say 'I can go aaaall night long!'

Musical Girl Squad escapes, the end.

Macross Delta Episode 7 : Intrigue at Planet Catfurcon

Right, let's get to it.

When we left our insipid heroes they had just had their asses kicked so hard by the Blowhard Knights of Windermere that the Plot had to forget that Booger, Master Hermann and The Twins existed for a bit to ensure none of the Special Ones were killed before simply having all the Knights recalled from securing total victory by Prince Princess of Windermere.

This episode starts with a lecture on Protocoulture, the alien race that traveled the galaxy to explain why all the aliens look roughly human and thus still physically attractive. You can't just put tits on a Vorlon and ship it you know.

Few have tried, none have succeeded.

No, the Protoculture knew this and realized if there were going to be marketable interspecies love triangles, Mirage and Pixie couldn't look anything like a Spathi.

And so the Protoculture spread throughout the Milky Way, genetically modifying native species to their preferences. Alternatively, they were just impossibly virile and utterly without taboos regarding what you knocked up or got knocked up by. The difference is effectively just the method.

Space Humans, Space Orcs, Space Kajiiti, Protoculture 'seeded' them all.

Personally I feel this presents some solid possibilities for how Protoculture wound up going extinct.

Moving on!

Musical Girl Squad is presently orbiting the planet once ruled by Protoculturian Cat Fanciers- Voldor. The enemy has deployed fleets of Roidragers and satellites. Fortunately, Implied Lesbian Green-Haired Musical Girl is also a leet hacker and at the Pink Haired One's suggestion sets about owning the defense network.

With SPACE HACKING.

Many flying skulls later, and the Defense Network is Owned. This also holonanowhozzimifies three jetmechs and the Musical Girl Squad party jet into the dark hues of the enemy before they blast off for Voldor.

Time to have fun inside of you.

62% of Voldor is marshes you know. it's chief exports are wood, fruit and water. It has no strategic value supposedly.

Musical Girl Squad and Friends are there to infiltrate the capitol city. Immelman is a Sargent now by the way. They're really recognizing his Spacy Leadership potential.

We don't know why they're here yet, but we know they are here in disguise and since we're on the CATS planet... Will there be puns?

Of course.

Ahaha...

No one listens to Mirage, armed or not.

Right so next we learn that Kaname the Red Haired Musical Girl has, along with the cat ears and face paint, also has actual retractable claws (part of the disguise? Seems a bit much for that.). Which she uses to get a blood sample from some of the mind.controlled soldiers via a feigned scratching accident- because their bio-folds are just flapping all over the place.

Sure enough, the soldier's blood tests positive for high amount of Seidznole. Which, uh, is a vital component of Roidrage Syndrome now. Always was, that is. But the only cure is musical girl singing still. Can't just develop an antidote to Snoozenal or anything. Hah hah.

Still, that's what's causing the Var Syndrome here.

Meanwhile if you recall, Immelman is allergic to all things vaguely feline with the sole exception of himself. Naturally he starts sneezing, prompting the kindly Furcadians of Voldor to inquire as to his health, fortunately to be bailed out by his colleagues.

Mirage chides him for being unable to hold in a sneeze, which can indeed be easier said than done.

The chiding does prompt a very good question from Immelman.

I'm surprised he was allowed to ask it, because this is fairly insane still even against the background noise of general insanity this series maintains. It's not on any of their job descriptions. Even if it WAS, SURELY there would be better people available for it across uncounted planets, or even slightly worse people who are somewhat more expendable for not being the only known cure or defense for mind-controlling roidrage.

I could see sending in JUST Delta Squad, but why would they send in a 14-year-old-girl with zero military experience and indeed every one of the sole people who might be able to keep the Blowhards from rolling over another planet?

Mirage notes that this is crazy as well, but these commands come from Commander Arad, who isn't taking part himself because first- 'Experience Builds Character' and second-

Truly something so utterly bonkers can mean one of two things, the motives prompting the same behaviour. Either Commander Arad secretely works for the Windermereans and is trying to hand over Musical Girl Squad on a silver platter or... Commander Arad is looking to get a promotion.

As we have seen, gross incompetence bordering on treason is how the true leaders rise above the expendable chaff like Messer.

Arad's gunning for Ernest's job.

Or is a double agent. Really, you could just flip a coin.

Pixie reassures Mirage and Immelman that she can handle this as she was given infiltration training inbetween dance lessons and then runs off because she smells apples.

Next Pixie demonstrates her synesthesia by hearing a very sad color, which turns out to be a young furcadian girl singing at her mindcontrolled pa. It doesn't work because the little girl isn't a special.
The girl decides that it doesn't work because stupid songs cant' possibly fix this sort of thing which is a perfectly reasonable conclusion given that she's right.

It's not the stupid songs that cure Roidrage, it's the biofold whazzisures the Musical Girl Squad generates while singing.

Strictly speaking they should technically have the same effect going 'Tra la lalalala la lalalalaaa tra la lalalala la lala la laaaa' ad infinitum and strictly speaking should be doing right now instead of this crap. Ideally from a fortified location, broadcast live, most of their waking hours.

Or constantly seeking every last person in the galaxy capable of also generating these flappyblob waves and establishing Musical Girl Squads all over the place.

But I digress.

Anyhow, Pixie runs off to try and reassure the girl that Musical Girl Squad's music really can cure roidrage but is stopped by Mad Dog Mikumo for a bit of The Spartan Treatment.

Phase two, putting her to use, is prevented by the arrival of Mirage and Immelman.

Fortunately whereas simply remembering Messer looking at her disapprovingly made her crap herself, Pixie is used to far worse from Mikumo already and hardly reacts.

Mikumo has been releasing bug-like micro spy drones all this time apparently. Something that pretty much anyone with some micro spy drones could have been doing rather than the Glob's last best hope for Roidrage protection.

Via these they get to spy on a special intra-government meeting between king cat and Roid Brehm.

The short of it being that the space catpeople were ok working under the NUG but recognize they're in no place to argue with the Windermereans and their DIMENSIONAL WEAPONS, who believe they are the true heirs of the Protoculture because they are among the if not the last species the Protocultureans created.

Which does explain why Prince Princess is the Crown's Heir while his older brother is a bitter ace pilot looking to have his little bro burn himself out singing at alien antiques. Apparently to the youngest go the spoils.

It also implies to me that whatever animal the the Protocultureans fucked around with (figuratively or literally) to create the Windermereans and Voldorians and whatnot lead to Protoculture collapse. Windermerean Bird Flu maybe.

Going back to the task at hand, our insipid heroes learn Roid has had the local Protoculture ruins locked down under the pretense of academic research.

 Naturally they must investigate there next, on the off chance there is a DIMENSIONAL WEAPON. Pixie askes about these and thus we learn that they are warp space and time to cause damage and are in fact space WMDs which are, like space mind control should be, space banned by the space Geneva convention.

King Wind is basically Saddamn Hussein and Musical Girl Squad is playing at weapons inspecting.

Anyhow, according to the employees of good-guy private military corporation CHAOS in employment with the NUG, seven years ago Windermere used a dimensional weapon in their war for independance, on their own people. For reasons. Pixie had been told the NUG did it, but Mirage insists Windemere used it on the NUNs.

Pixie thinks she may have seen one as a child, but is uncertain. It might have just been a coincidental supercolossal doomsphere.

Pixie starts to say her village Elder said otherwise, but Mikumo stops her to ask...

There are good odds that this is less Mikumo suggesting the Elder was lying and more fishing to see if Pixie knows. Because Mikumo probably doesn't.

And now we cut to Prince Princess Heinz to discuss the filling of holes with his father, King Wind. King Wind knows that a dark wind blows through Heinz's wind and guesses it's because he saw the hole. That hole was bored into the hearts of all Windermereans and...

Which is an odd thing to demand if you're the one responsible for that crater.

The truth might be more complicated. Or not.

Meanwhile Mikumo hears a wind, or feels a color or something and departs the group. Pixie, for the second time this episode, coincidentally talks tough about proving themselves to her just after she leaves. Perhaps all too aware of what would happen if Mikumo was actually around to hear her.

Now it's time for Implied Lesbian Couple to break into the ruins! Which they do with a happy pop song about someone wishing their heart would stop-

I'm tempted to sympathy.

-and what appears to be a moderately powerful hallucinogen.

But they're in perfect sync, according to Immelman. The Red Haired Musical Girl, Kaname, informs us howerer that Green Haired Musical Girl Reina and Pink Haired Musical Girl Deus Ex Makina used to be mortal enemies they used to have to cancel shows over it. So it's only natural they're in love now. If you really like or really hate someone, you must be in love. The only way to avoid it is cold indifference. Messer knows this.

Anyway, they break in and find that the ruins have a cavern underneath featuring tanks and tanks full of water.

Water used heavily by the Spacy troops!

As they ponder this mystery, Mikumo is being led by voices only she can hear. Business as usual if it wasn't in this highly secured facility.

'Who am I, following? It's so hard being crazy.'

Back with the main party, they have determined the water does not in fact contain Darkseidnozlol.

But wait! Pixie has found more Windermerean apples, which Messer recognizes as Galactic Apples, used heavily by the Spacy troops!

But they don't contain roidragenol either.

Now this is all very silly for many reasons, not the least of which being that the Spacy has been using apples from a planet they have been sorta-kinda at war with for the past seven years.

Suddenly an alarm goes off and Booger turns up to babble about disturbed winds and to direct brainwashed guards around.

The red haired musical girl Kaname orders everyone to prepare to leave and gather as many samples as they can of the apples and water. Immelman questions this, ignoring Mirage's chidings not to question and get moving. Because they are being surrounded by security.

No one listens to Mirage though, least of all Immelman, so he stops to ponder why they are taking the water and apples and decides to do a sudden experiment. Right then, with security closing in.

Putting a bit of apple in a water bottle they shake it and it turns out that the combination results in the Roidrage Toxin, Plotinol.

So they all stand around, stock still, while Kaname slowly explains what this all means.

Messer and Mirage are likely wondering silently why they are working with these dumbasses again.

Elsewhere, Mikumo is singing to the ruins. Likely in hopes of turning the Roidragers into her slaves or simply doing the bidding of the new addition to the voices in her head..

The main group has bigger problems. It turns out standing in one place for a long period of time while being persued has had an adverse effect. A security wall goes up dividing Immelman, Mirage and Pixie from the rest of the group. Immelman finds a secondary escape route that puts them right into the hands of...

Booger and the Blowhards!

Roll credits!

Well, at least they only captured Immelman, Mirage and Pixie. Those three are effectively immortal. Far too much of a hassle to alter the opening credits this early in. However much I may want Immelman dead.

Macross Delta Episode 6 : The Spartan Treatment

When we left Performance Autist Immelman he was getting reminded he was nothing by a competent pilot. We return to them to find Immelman being reminded he is nothing by a competent pilot. Messer is in the process of debriefing the rest of Delta Squadron. It goes something like this.

Liutenant Chuck, you need to manage ship power better.
Mirage, you're neglecting your right side. Arad is having to bail you out.
Immelman, Fuck You.

Actually, he just doesn't bother giving advice to the shlub and simply dismisses the crew. The sentiment, however, is the same. This is made clear when Immelman asks what the point of Messer calling him over is, to which Messer replies "Why waste my time? You're not even worth talking to." Which I can translate as 'The point is Fuck You.' Which I again sympathize with immensely.

Still he does relent and foolishly attempts to advise Immleman. Basically insisting they stop attempting to merely disable the fighters piloted by mind-controlled roidragers. When he advises the same thing to Mirage, Immelman complains that Arad and Luitenant MerChuck do the same thing to which Messer basically replies 'Those two are good enough to pull it off without dying.'

Sadly, Messer still fails to realize he's in an anime despite... Well, everything Immelman-related.

Messer informs Purple Hair Space Elf and Immelman that if they keep this up, they will die. Immelman gets pissy about this but Mirage asks for elaboration. Her problem, Messer implies, is that her flying is as precise as it is predictable and it is extremely precise. Improbably, he implies she could learn something from Immelman, which seems a bit mean. Still, it is true...

The Merkin maneuver is as unpredictable as it is absurd, and it is extremely absurd.

After the the usual baffling intro sequence we find ourselves in another briefing in which Ernest is informing us that since the last episode Windermere has annexed three planets in total now. They have, in fact, won every battle thus far.

Ernest of course is an optimist. Else he HAS come to the realization he is in an Anime.

Meanwhile Musical Girl Kaname wants to know if the Spacy- the spaciest of space forces- intends to send reinforcements. Arad replies that this is unlikely as this is taking place in fringe, backwater planets the Spacy can't be arsed to care about.

Which, with everything else- not the least of which is Arad's own attitude- is giving me a very strange impression of how the Spacy heirarchy works. The higher rank you are, the less of a shit you give.

I mean, here we have a nation declaring war on the Spacy and enjoying gratuitous success by virtue of a poorly understood mind-control weapon that turns Spacy pilots into expendable grunts- but working for the enemy- and the Spacy is apparently going to go. 'Meh, shit happens.'

Hold on let me look into this...

Right, here we go. The Supreme Commander of the Spacy is one Niles Badgerson, in his 30th space-year of command from his room in the hospice where he has been in a self-drug-induced coma for the last four and a half space-decades, noted for his extraordinarily rapid advancement through the ranks.

Rumor has it he's aiming for Space-Presidency of the NUG.

This also reveals why Arad likes Immelman, he knows Spacy Leadership Potential when he sees it.

But enough digression.

We cut now to Manic Pixie Freyja, who is late for something. Enroute to whatever it is she is stopped by the sound of Mikumo singing out on a balcony at night, wearing clothes even.

The stars are out though, perhaps Pixie is just a touch too early.

Anyhow, because this is insufficiently suspect Mikumo notes she is singing Prince Princess Heinrich's Roidrage song because she can't get it out of her head, and is intrigued with how the effeminate lad's voice shines with life, unlike Pixie's.

Oh no, Pixie, Mikumo might look to replace you with a new gimp.

The implication is either so troubling that Pixie forgets what she was running late for, or this is what she was late for- which should probably be troubling.

We cut away from whatever Mikumo plans to do with Pixie to the restaurant area of Ragyumyum, which is very busy. War is bringing in all manner of customers. As one of the employees of Good Guy Private Military Corporation CHAOS notes, nothing boosts the economy like a war or two. Another notes that they have indeed seen a large number of grim businessmen about as some such businessmen grimly shake hands with people outside of the restaurant.

Says brain parasite girl.

Replies unusually self aware coworker, which perhaps also explains they are also the resident binge drinker.

Cut now to Shlub Immelman, MerChuck, the Implied Lesbian Musical Girls and Pixie who are collectively pitying themselves and/or eachother. Why?

A war has broken out, people are getting their free will stolen from them and killed but the REAL crime is how the only person taking it all seriously doesn't like meeeeee.

But wait, where's Pixie?

Yes, that's right, Messer hurt her fee fees so badly with a look that she has lost all control of her bowels in the corner. Despite the fact that said incident occurred last episode and at least a week ago real-time.

This is why children regardless of species have no place in war.

To be fair, it's not impossible she's just suffering from an unrelated and poorly timed case of space-food-poisoning.

The Pink Haired Musical Girl then asks where Mirage is. Turns out the purple-haired space elf is the only one of these people who has responded to a professional's critique of their flying by getting some practice in a simulator.

Meanwhile Pixie takes the opportunity to complain about Slave-Driver Mikumo, but she respects Mikumo because she looks so cool on stage. (she also seems to have stopped venting purple gas)

This prompts Immelman to grudgingly admit he admires Messer's flying chops.

MerChuck notes that Messer isn't called the Grim Reaper by someone, somewhere, for nothing and that he may in fact technically be a better pilot than Arad. The Pink Haired Musical Girl then notes that Messer takes very good care of his jetmech, unlike Immelman- who wrecks his every time he takes it out for a spin.

All of this talk excites her marketable implied-lesbian partner to impromptu pokage of her own highly marketable implied lesbian personage.

Much to MerChuck's arousal, fortunately as he's Merperson and not Japanese no blood fired out of his nostrils.

Anhow, Immelman realizes that Messer actually being good at what he does bothers him, so he'll try to be better than him. Pixie simultaenously resolves to match Mad Mikumo.

This prompts the others to ask if they were siblings separated at birth.

Because a romance between this drifter and this 14 year old girl isn't sufficiently pervy, how about we make her his adopted little sister too?

Fortunately we cut again to Arad and Messer.

Arad asks, apparently ignorant of what the Spartan Treatment was.

I take that 'fortunately' back. Messer agrees that he is, because he doesn't want them to die. Arad asks him to be careful not to break them in the process.

So, maybe Arad DOES know what the Spartan Treatment is and Messer doesn't. Which is good, because otherwise Messer would have just admitted to both personally training and taking Immelman as his lover in the very carnal sense, from an unacceptably young age by force if necessary.

Messer isn't doing that.

Mikumo, on the other hand...

Insert flashback effects and ominous music here.

Anyhow, Messer goes on to show his complete disregard for his military career by preparing for the military action to take place tomorrow, that bastard.

Meanwhile on Planet Airberl ruins are glowing and Prince Princess has sung himself to collapse. Royal Babysitter Roid advises Prince Princess to refrain from singing, only to have Prince Princess's brother turn up to say such refrainment cannot be afforded.

Apparently Spacy Scouts have been seen in the... Ugh.

'If they take the Starwind sector then they might take the Windstar sector and then the solarwind and windsolar sectors, we need your wind to wind the wind wind. Oh and if you die in the process I get to be the new King Wind. Wait, I mean, WIND WIND WIND WIND.'

He urges Prince Princess to grant them the- you know what, replacing all of their dialogue with wind repeated indefinitely really doesn't change much. I'm doing that for the rest of this.

In any case Prince Princess is moved by his brothers wind and winds wind about wind over the gentle objection of Roid wind. So he says wind wind duty wind and his brother says wind vow wind.

Ok, back to Mirage the Purple Haired Space Elf.

This is in her head, words overhead.

She's presently wallowing in self-loathing fueled by her insecurities over failing to live up to the legendary piloting skilz of her grandparents. This scene is of grave importance as it explains why she is doomed to eventually covet the affection of a loathsome little shit like Immelman, who is precisely the sort of asshole sure to make her suffer like she feels she deserves.

Anyhow, the voices in her head are interrupted by no less than that jackass shlub, who on seeing that she is already down has words of encouragement for her.

And now they're...

Will they survive the battle of IoniDETH?! Yes. Sadly.

Here on out it's mostly space battle, I'm not going to be screenshotting the lot of that.

Presently the battle is almost entirely between Spacy expendable grunts and Spacy expendable grunts whose minds are being controlled by roidrage. No one will know any of their names, because they are just that expendable.

Spacy pilots are winning the battle, but that doesn't mean it's going well because it's the enslaved Spacy pilots.

Fortunately having noticed the Var Outbreak, Musical Girl Squad is soon to deploy! Everyone is getting their jetmechs fitted for space battle. Metal things are whirring and technical jargon is babbled. Token military terms are used. Delta Squad will attack point Echo while the 30% of Spacy Units not presently mind-controlled defend point whatever.

Delta pilots 1 through 5 are informed by Messer that this is the first space battle for those pilots, because apparently they wouldn't have known otherwise. Which, given who one of those pilots is, may be the case. He warns them a space battle is a different beast and that they must not run out of propellant.

So, we know right off the bat at least one of them is sure to run out of propellant.

Immelman encourages Mirage to 'show the Grim Reaper what we're made of'. Mirage replies 'you can count on me'. Messer...

Messer knows better.

And with Musical Girl Squad beginning their performance in a glass pyramid on the SpaceAircraftCarrier with the usual babble about Music being all the really nice things, they launch into some English lyrics (just the four words below) and battle is joined.

Hot lasermissile love coming right at your face, just like that.

Today's suddenly necessary cure for Roidrage involves projecting the faces of Musical Girl Squad onto random asteroids, so there's an awful lot of that.

If you can only get a restraining order against ONE member of Musical Girl Squad...

Anyhow most of what happens now is space battle j-pop. Mirage, Immelman and whatnot have predictably ignored all of Messer's advice but between the two of themselves aren't killed. Messer and the White Knight of Windermere are dueling.

"Wind to wind the wind" says the Wind Wind of Wind.

Immelman wants to catch up with Messer and the Wind Wind of Wind, but thus far hasn't spontaneously become that good yet and so is instead narrowly able to avoid crashing while being suddenly attacked by the Windermeercat twins.

"Wind winding... with the wind!" say the Winds. 

Musical Girl Squad meanwhile has started to have an effect. Spacy Pilots are getting their brains turned back into their normal blue and thus cured. This prompts Booger to take offense and say "Wind, Wind, wind wind wind wind!" to the Meercat twins who reply "Wind wind wind." and then they ignore the rest of the fight to attack Musical Girl Squad.

They effortlessly kill the expendable nameless Spacy grunts in charge of protecting Musical Girl Squad, allowing Booger to personally bang on the Musical Girl Squad entirely transparent enclosure and say 'Wind wind, Wind!" at Pixie. Pixie replies 'Traitor?'

At this point Booger takes a jetmech foot to his jetmech's face as Immelman turns up to save Pixie. Also the rest of Musical Girl Squad.

Meanwhile, Blowhard Knight Master Hermann is giving a pep talk to one Lieutenant Uhroh. He offers to corner one of Delta Squad so that Uhroh can shoot them down and thus earn his first kill. Uhroh agrees, invoking his rune to guide them and- most miraculously- neither of them have mentioned wind once.

 The member of Delta Squad in question is none other than Mirage.

So very fortunately for Mirage, the incredibly fiery and vain Booger has elected not to fight and has in fact just fucked off, along with the Twins leaving Immelman conveniently free to hurry to her rescue now.

But wait, there's a problem, he's being prevented from getting close enough to try his usual battle tactic of ignoring his guns in favor of playing rock-em-sock-em-jetmech. By what?

What a shock.

So, he's going to have to actually use one of those many many guns on his custom-modified war machine.

So he does. Despite hating guns and almost certainly never practicing with them in any meaningful way his aim is true and Uhroh's jetmech is destroyed just before he succeeds in killing Mirage. Uhroh ejects from the jetmech, but Uh-Oh Uhroh is caught in the explosion of the vehicle.

This probably happened to Uhroh because he didn't say 'Wind' enough. Very un-winderemerely.

Anyhow with both Mirage and Immelman now floating in space, apparently incapable of movement death is certain to come. Perhaps from Master Hermann, who just saw his favorite rookie blown to bits.

Oh, no, Roid calls the Wind Wind of Wind to inform him that Prince Princess is recalling the Knights. The Wind Wind of Wind is understandably upset, given that the battle has gone entirely their way and victory would just be a matter of mopping up- but he dare not defy the will of Prince Princess... so the Blowhard Knights depart.

Now it's Feel Bad for Immelman Having to Kill a Guy Time.

Oh, and Mikumo berates Pixie for flinching at being called a traitor before rambling oddly about voices echoing across the galaxy and then asking her questions like 'Why do you stand on stage? What is your purpose? What feelings do you put into your singing?' and then to think through those questions once more.

And then when Pixie has answers, she can give them to Mikumo- who is desperately trying to deflect that they have no real idea what they are doing, being utterly insane as they are.

Seems a bit hypocritical to me, but if Mikumo is doing anything right it's probably The Spartan Treatment. Which is, again, so very wrong.

After this it's time for more pity for Immelman. Mirage personally chips in to help buck up the borderline autistic manchild who in a pinch ultimately decided to do his job rather than let her die.

Her words ring true and Immelman realizes that since everyone around him is risking their lives, he can accept ghosting a sucka.

Pixie, eavesdropping on their conversation from a hiding spot, seems less certain.

Finally, we at the end as the Wind Wind of Wind takes his brother Prince Princess to see a sparking crater on Windermere, which is very sad for them both for some reason. Miraculously, they both manage to avoid saying Wind.

In any case, let's end on a superior Musical Girl Squad.

I guess. Well, they're all clearly more stable than Mikumo at least.