Macross Delta Episode 7 : Intrigue at Planet Catfurcon

Right, let's get to it.

When we left our insipid heroes they had just had their asses kicked so hard by the Blowhard Knights of Windermere that the Plot had to forget that Booger, Master Hermann and The Twins existed for a bit to ensure none of the Special Ones were killed before simply having all the Knights recalled from securing total victory by Prince Princess of Windermere.

This episode starts with a lecture on Protocoulture, the alien race that traveled the galaxy to explain why all the aliens look roughly human and thus still physically attractive. You can't just put tits on a Vorlon and ship it you know.

Few have tried, none have succeeded.

No, the Protoculture knew this and realized if there were going to be marketable interspecies love triangles, Mirage and Pixie couldn't look anything like a Spathi.

And so the Protoculture spread throughout the Milky Way, genetically modifying native species to their preferences. Alternatively, they were just impossibly virile and utterly without taboos regarding what you knocked up or got knocked up by. The difference is effectively just the method.

Space Humans, Space Orcs, Space Kajiiti, Protoculture 'seeded' them all.

Personally I feel this presents some solid possibilities for how Protoculture wound up going extinct.

Moving on!

Musical Girl Squad is presently orbiting the planet once ruled by Protoculturian Cat Fanciers- Voldor. The enemy has deployed fleets of Roidragers and satellites. Fortunately, Implied Lesbian Green-Haired Musical Girl is also a leet hacker and at the Pink Haired One's suggestion sets about owning the defense network.

With SPACE HACKING.

Many flying skulls later, and the Defense Network is Owned. This also holonanowhozzimifies three jetmechs and the Musical Girl Squad party jet into the dark hues of the enemy before they blast off for Voldor.

Time to have fun inside of you.

62% of Voldor is marshes you know. it's chief exports are wood, fruit and water. It has no strategic value supposedly.

Musical Girl Squad and Friends are there to infiltrate the capitol city. Immelman is a Sargent now by the way. They're really recognizing his Spacy Leadership potential.

We don't know why they're here yet, but we know they are here in disguise and since we're on the CATS planet... Will there be puns?

Of course.

Ahaha...

No one listens to Mirage, armed or not.

Right so next we learn that Kaname the Red Haired Musical Girl has, along with the cat ears and face paint, also has actual retractable claws (part of the disguise? Seems a bit much for that.). Which she uses to get a blood sample from some of the mind.controlled soldiers via a feigned scratching accident- because their bio-folds are just flapping all over the place.

Sure enough, the soldier's blood tests positive for high amount of Seidznole. Which, uh, is a vital component of Roidrage Syndrome now. Always was, that is. But the only cure is musical girl singing still. Can't just develop an antidote to Snoozenal or anything. Hah hah.

Still, that's what's causing the Var Syndrome here.

Meanwhile if you recall, Immelman is allergic to all things vaguely feline with the sole exception of himself. Naturally he starts sneezing, prompting the kindly Furcadians of Voldor to inquire as to his health, fortunately to be bailed out by his colleagues.

Mirage chides him for being unable to hold in a sneeze, which can indeed be easier said than done.

The chiding does prompt a very good question from Immelman.

I'm surprised he was allowed to ask it, because this is fairly insane still even against the background noise of general insanity this series maintains. It's not on any of their job descriptions. Even if it WAS, SURELY there would be better people available for it across uncounted planets, or even slightly worse people who are somewhat more expendable for not being the only known cure or defense for mind-controlling roidrage.

I could see sending in JUST Delta Squad, but why would they send in a 14-year-old-girl with zero military experience and indeed every one of the sole people who might be able to keep the Blowhards from rolling over another planet?

Mirage notes that this is crazy as well, but these commands come from Commander Arad, who isn't taking part himself because first- 'Experience Builds Character' and second-

Truly something so utterly bonkers can mean one of two things, the motives prompting the same behaviour. Either Commander Arad secretely works for the Windermereans and is trying to hand over Musical Girl Squad on a silver platter or... Commander Arad is looking to get a promotion.

As we have seen, gross incompetence bordering on treason is how the true leaders rise above the expendable chaff like Messer.

Arad's gunning for Ernest's job.

Or is a double agent. Really, you could just flip a coin.

Pixie reassures Mirage and Immelman that she can handle this as she was given infiltration training inbetween dance lessons and then runs off because she smells apples.

Next Pixie demonstrates her synesthesia by hearing a very sad color, which turns out to be a young furcadian girl singing at her mindcontrolled pa. It doesn't work because the little girl isn't a special.
The girl decides that it doesn't work because stupid songs cant' possibly fix this sort of thing which is a perfectly reasonable conclusion given that she's right.

It's not the stupid songs that cure Roidrage, it's the biofold whazzisures the Musical Girl Squad generates while singing.

Strictly speaking they should technically have the same effect going 'Tra la lalalala la lalalalaaa tra la lalalala la lala la laaaa' ad infinitum and strictly speaking should be doing right now instead of this crap. Ideally from a fortified location, broadcast live, most of their waking hours.

Or constantly seeking every last person in the galaxy capable of also generating these flappyblob waves and establishing Musical Girl Squads all over the place.

But I digress.

Anyhow, Pixie runs off to try and reassure the girl that Musical Girl Squad's music really can cure roidrage but is stopped by Mad Dog Mikumo for a bit of The Spartan Treatment.

Phase two, putting her to use, is prevented by the arrival of Mirage and Immelman.

Fortunately whereas simply remembering Messer looking at her disapprovingly made her crap herself, Pixie is used to far worse from Mikumo already and hardly reacts.

Mikumo has been releasing bug-like micro spy drones all this time apparently. Something that pretty much anyone with some micro spy drones could have been doing rather than the Glob's last best hope for Roidrage protection.

Via these they get to spy on a special intra-government meeting between king cat and Roid Brehm.

The short of it being that the space catpeople were ok working under the NUG but recognize they're in no place to argue with the Windermereans and their DIMENSIONAL WEAPONS, who believe they are the true heirs of the Protoculture because they are among the if not the last species the Protocultureans created.

Which does explain why Prince Princess is the Crown's Heir while his older brother is a bitter ace pilot looking to have his little bro burn himself out singing at alien antiques. Apparently to the youngest go the spoils.

It also implies to me that whatever animal the the Protocultureans fucked around with (figuratively or literally) to create the Windermereans and Voldorians and whatnot lead to Protoculture collapse. Windermerean Bird Flu maybe.

Going back to the task at hand, our insipid heroes learn Roid has had the local Protoculture ruins locked down under the pretense of academic research.

 Naturally they must investigate there next, on the off chance there is a DIMENSIONAL WEAPON. Pixie askes about these and thus we learn that they are warp space and time to cause damage and are in fact space WMDs which are, like space mind control should be, space banned by the space Geneva convention.

King Wind is basically Saddamn Hussein and Musical Girl Squad is playing at weapons inspecting.

Anyhow, according to the employees of good-guy private military corporation CHAOS in employment with the NUG, seven years ago Windermere used a dimensional weapon in their war for independance, on their own people. For reasons. Pixie had been told the NUG did it, but Mirage insists Windemere used it on the NUNs.

Pixie thinks she may have seen one as a child, but is uncertain. It might have just been a coincidental supercolossal doomsphere.

Pixie starts to say her village Elder said otherwise, but Mikumo stops her to ask...

There are good odds that this is less Mikumo suggesting the Elder was lying and more fishing to see if Pixie knows. Because Mikumo probably doesn't.

And now we cut to Prince Princess Heinz to discuss the filling of holes with his father, King Wind. King Wind knows that a dark wind blows through Heinz's wind and guesses it's because he saw the hole. That hole was bored into the hearts of all Windermereans and...

Which is an odd thing to demand if you're the one responsible for that crater.

The truth might be more complicated. Or not.

Meanwhile Mikumo hears a wind, or feels a color or something and departs the group. Pixie, for the second time this episode, coincidentally talks tough about proving themselves to her just after she leaves. Perhaps all too aware of what would happen if Mikumo was actually around to hear her.

Now it's time for Implied Lesbian Couple to break into the ruins! Which they do with a happy pop song about someone wishing their heart would stop-

I'm tempted to sympathy.

-and what appears to be a moderately powerful hallucinogen.

But they're in perfect sync, according to Immelman. The Red Haired Musical Girl, Kaname, informs us howerer that Green Haired Musical Girl Reina and Pink Haired Musical Girl Deus Ex Makina used to be mortal enemies they used to have to cancel shows over it. So it's only natural they're in love now. If you really like or really hate someone, you must be in love. The only way to avoid it is cold indifference. Messer knows this.

Anyway, they break in and find that the ruins have a cavern underneath featuring tanks and tanks full of water.

Water used heavily by the Spacy troops!

As they ponder this mystery, Mikumo is being led by voices only she can hear. Business as usual if it wasn't in this highly secured facility.

'Who am I, following? It's so hard being crazy.'

Back with the main party, they have determined the water does not in fact contain Darkseidnozlol.

But wait! Pixie has found more Windermerean apples, which Messer recognizes as Galactic Apples, used heavily by the Spacy troops!

But they don't contain roidragenol either.

Now this is all very silly for many reasons, not the least of which being that the Spacy has been using apples from a planet they have been sorta-kinda at war with for the past seven years.

Suddenly an alarm goes off and Booger turns up to babble about disturbed winds and to direct brainwashed guards around.

The red haired musical girl Kaname orders everyone to prepare to leave and gather as many samples as they can of the apples and water. Immelman questions this, ignoring Mirage's chidings not to question and get moving. Because they are being surrounded by security.

No one listens to Mirage though, least of all Immelman, so he stops to ponder why they are taking the water and apples and decides to do a sudden experiment. Right then, with security closing in.

Putting a bit of apple in a water bottle they shake it and it turns out that the combination results in the Roidrage Toxin, Plotinol.

So they all stand around, stock still, while Kaname slowly explains what this all means.

Messer and Mirage are likely wondering silently why they are working with these dumbasses again.

Elsewhere, Mikumo is singing to the ruins. Likely in hopes of turning the Roidragers into her slaves or simply doing the bidding of the new addition to the voices in her head..

The main group has bigger problems. It turns out standing in one place for a long period of time while being persued has had an adverse effect. A security wall goes up dividing Immelman, Mirage and Pixie from the rest of the group. Immelman finds a secondary escape route that puts them right into the hands of...

Booger and the Blowhards!

Roll credits!

Well, at least they only captured Immelman, Mirage and Pixie. Those three are effectively immortal. Far too much of a hassle to alter the opening credits this early in. However much I may want Immelman dead.

Macross Delta Episode 6 : The Spartan Treatment

When we left Performance Autist Immelman he was getting reminded he was nothing by a competent pilot. We return to them to find Immelman being reminded he is nothing by a competent pilot. Messer is in the process of debriefing the rest of Delta Squadron. It goes something like this.

Liutenant Chuck, you need to manage ship power better.
Mirage, you're neglecting your right side. Arad is having to bail you out.
Immelman, Fuck You.

Actually, he just doesn't bother giving advice to the shlub and simply dismisses the crew. The sentiment, however, is the same. This is made clear when Immelman asks what the point of Messer calling him over is, to which Messer replies "Why waste my time? You're not even worth talking to." Which I can translate as 'The point is Fuck You.' Which I again sympathize with immensely.

Still he does relent and foolishly attempts to advise Immleman. Basically insisting they stop attempting to merely disable the fighters piloted by mind-controlled roidragers. When he advises the same thing to Mirage, Immelman complains that Arad and Luitenant MerChuck do the same thing to which Messer basically replies 'Those two are good enough to pull it off without dying.'

Sadly, Messer still fails to realize he's in an anime despite... Well, everything Immelman-related.

Messer informs Purple Hair Space Elf and Immelman that if they keep this up, they will die. Immelman gets pissy about this but Mirage asks for elaboration. Her problem, Messer implies, is that her flying is as precise as it is predictable and it is extremely precise. Improbably, he implies she could learn something from Immelman, which seems a bit mean. Still, it is true...

The Merkin maneuver is as unpredictable as it is absurd, and it is extremely absurd.

After the the usual baffling intro sequence we find ourselves in another briefing in which Ernest is informing us that since the last episode Windermere has annexed three planets in total now. They have, in fact, won every battle thus far.

Ernest of course is an optimist. Else he HAS come to the realization he is in an Anime.

Meanwhile Musical Girl Kaname wants to know if the Spacy- the spaciest of space forces- intends to send reinforcements. Arad replies that this is unlikely as this is taking place in fringe, backwater planets the Spacy can't be arsed to care about.

Which, with everything else- not the least of which is Arad's own attitude- is giving me a very strange impression of how the Spacy heirarchy works. The higher rank you are, the less of a shit you give.

I mean, here we have a nation declaring war on the Spacy and enjoying gratuitous success by virtue of a poorly understood mind-control weapon that turns Spacy pilots into expendable grunts- but working for the enemy- and the Spacy is apparently going to go. 'Meh, shit happens.'

Hold on let me look into this...

Right, here we go. The Supreme Commander of the Spacy is one Niles Badgerson, in his 30th space-year of command from his room in the hospice where he has been in a self-drug-induced coma for the last four and a half space-decades, noted for his extraordinarily rapid advancement through the ranks.

Rumor has it he's aiming for Space-Presidency of the NUG.

This also reveals why Arad likes Immelman, he knows Spacy Leadership Potential when he sees it.

But enough digression.

We cut now to Manic Pixie Freyja, who is late for something. Enroute to whatever it is she is stopped by the sound of Mikumo singing out on a balcony at night, wearing clothes even.

The stars are out though, perhaps Pixie is just a touch too early.

Anyhow, because this is insufficiently suspect Mikumo notes she is singing Prince Princess Heinrich's Roidrage song because she can't get it out of her head, and is intrigued with how the effeminate lad's voice shines with life, unlike Pixie's.

Oh no, Pixie, Mikumo might look to replace you with a new gimp.

The implication is either so troubling that Pixie forgets what she was running late for, or this is what she was late for- which should probably be troubling.

We cut away from whatever Mikumo plans to do with Pixie to the restaurant area of Ragyumyum, which is very busy. War is bringing in all manner of customers. As one of the employees of Good Guy Private Military Corporation CHAOS notes, nothing boosts the economy like a war or two. Another notes that they have indeed seen a large number of grim businessmen about as some such businessmen grimly shake hands with people outside of the restaurant.

Says brain parasite girl.

Replies unusually self aware coworker, which perhaps also explains they are also the resident binge drinker.

Cut now to Shlub Immelman, MerChuck, the Implied Lesbian Musical Girls and Pixie who are collectively pitying themselves and/or eachother. Why?

A war has broken out, people are getting their free will stolen from them and killed but the REAL crime is how the only person taking it all seriously doesn't like meeeeee.

But wait, where's Pixie?

Yes, that's right, Messer hurt her fee fees so badly with a look that she has lost all control of her bowels in the corner. Despite the fact that said incident occurred last episode and at least a week ago real-time.

This is why children regardless of species have no place in war.

To be fair, it's not impossible she's just suffering from an unrelated and poorly timed case of space-food-poisoning.

The Pink Haired Musical Girl then asks where Mirage is. Turns out the purple-haired space elf is the only one of these people who has responded to a professional's critique of their flying by getting some practice in a simulator.

Meanwhile Pixie takes the opportunity to complain about Slave-Driver Mikumo, but she respects Mikumo because she looks so cool on stage. (she also seems to have stopped venting purple gas)

This prompts Immelman to grudgingly admit he admires Messer's flying chops.

MerChuck notes that Messer isn't called the Grim Reaper by someone, somewhere, for nothing and that he may in fact technically be a better pilot than Arad. The Pink Haired Musical Girl then notes that Messer takes very good care of his jetmech, unlike Immelman- who wrecks his every time he takes it out for a spin.

All of this talk excites her marketable implied-lesbian partner to impromptu pokage of her own highly marketable implied lesbian personage.

Much to MerChuck's arousal, fortunately as he's Merperson and not Japanese no blood fired out of his nostrils.

Anhow, Immelman realizes that Messer actually being good at what he does bothers him, so he'll try to be better than him. Pixie simultaenously resolves to match Mad Mikumo.

This prompts the others to ask if they were siblings separated at birth.

Because a romance between this drifter and this 14 year old girl isn't sufficiently pervy, how about we make her his adopted little sister too?

Fortunately we cut again to Arad and Messer.

Arad asks, apparently ignorant of what the Spartan Treatment was.

I take that 'fortunately' back. Messer agrees that he is, because he doesn't want them to die. Arad asks him to be careful not to break them in the process.

So, maybe Arad DOES know what the Spartan Treatment is and Messer doesn't. Which is good, because otherwise Messer would have just admitted to both personally training and taking Immelman as his lover in the very carnal sense, from an unacceptably young age by force if necessary.

Messer isn't doing that.

Mikumo, on the other hand...

Insert flashback effects and ominous music here.

Anyhow, Messer goes on to show his complete disregard for his military career by preparing for the military action to take place tomorrow, that bastard.

Meanwhile on Planet Airberl ruins are glowing and Prince Princess has sung himself to collapse. Royal Babysitter Roid advises Prince Princess to refrain from singing, only to have Prince Princess's brother turn up to say such refrainment cannot be afforded.

Apparently Spacy Scouts have been seen in the... Ugh.

'If they take the Starwind sector then they might take the Windstar sector and then the solarwind and windsolar sectors, we need your wind to wind the wind wind. Oh and if you die in the process I get to be the new King Wind. Wait, I mean, WIND WIND WIND WIND.'

He urges Prince Princess to grant them the- you know what, replacing all of their dialogue with wind repeated indefinitely really doesn't change much. I'm doing that for the rest of this.

In any case Prince Princess is moved by his brothers wind and winds wind about wind over the gentle objection of Roid wind. So he says wind wind duty wind and his brother says wind vow wind.

Ok, back to Mirage the Purple Haired Space Elf.

This is in her head, words overhead.

She's presently wallowing in self-loathing fueled by her insecurities over failing to live up to the legendary piloting skilz of her grandparents. This scene is of grave importance as it explains why she is doomed to eventually covet the affection of a loathsome little shit like Immelman, who is precisely the sort of asshole sure to make her suffer like she feels she deserves.

Anyhow, the voices in her head are interrupted by no less than that jackass shlub, who on seeing that she is already down has words of encouragement for her.

And now they're...

Will they survive the battle of IoniDETH?! Yes. Sadly.

Here on out it's mostly space battle, I'm not going to be screenshotting the lot of that.

Presently the battle is almost entirely between Spacy expendable grunts and Spacy expendable grunts whose minds are being controlled by roidrage. No one will know any of their names, because they are just that expendable.

Spacy pilots are winning the battle, but that doesn't mean it's going well because it's the enslaved Spacy pilots.

Fortunately having noticed the Var Outbreak, Musical Girl Squad is soon to deploy! Everyone is getting their jetmechs fitted for space battle. Metal things are whirring and technical jargon is babbled. Token military terms are used. Delta Squad will attack point Echo while the 30% of Spacy Units not presently mind-controlled defend point whatever.

Delta pilots 1 through 5 are informed by Messer that this is the first space battle for those pilots, because apparently they wouldn't have known otherwise. Which, given who one of those pilots is, may be the case. He warns them a space battle is a different beast and that they must not run out of propellant.

So, we know right off the bat at least one of them is sure to run out of propellant.

Immelman encourages Mirage to 'show the Grim Reaper what we're made of'. Mirage replies 'you can count on me'. Messer...

Messer knows better.

And with Musical Girl Squad beginning their performance in a glass pyramid on the SpaceAircraftCarrier with the usual babble about Music being all the really nice things, they launch into some English lyrics (just the four words below) and battle is joined.

Hot lasermissile love coming right at your face, just like that.

Today's suddenly necessary cure for Roidrage involves projecting the faces of Musical Girl Squad onto random asteroids, so there's an awful lot of that.

If you can only get a restraining order against ONE member of Musical Girl Squad...

Anyhow most of what happens now is space battle j-pop. Mirage, Immelman and whatnot have predictably ignored all of Messer's advice but between the two of themselves aren't killed. Messer and the White Knight of Windermere are dueling.

"Wind to wind the wind" says the Wind Wind of Wind.

Immelman wants to catch up with Messer and the Wind Wind of Wind, but thus far hasn't spontaneously become that good yet and so is instead narrowly able to avoid crashing while being suddenly attacked by the Windermeercat twins.

"Wind winding... with the wind!" say the Winds. 

Musical Girl Squad meanwhile has started to have an effect. Spacy Pilots are getting their brains turned back into their normal blue and thus cured. This prompts Booger to take offense and say "Wind, Wind, wind wind wind wind!" to the Meercat twins who reply "Wind wind wind." and then they ignore the rest of the fight to attack Musical Girl Squad.

They effortlessly kill the expendable nameless Spacy grunts in charge of protecting Musical Girl Squad, allowing Booger to personally bang on the Musical Girl Squad entirely transparent enclosure and say 'Wind wind, Wind!" at Pixie. Pixie replies 'Traitor?'

At this point Booger takes a jetmech foot to his jetmech's face as Immelman turns up to save Pixie. Also the rest of Musical Girl Squad.

Meanwhile, Blowhard Knight Master Hermann is giving a pep talk to one Lieutenant Uhroh. He offers to corner one of Delta Squad so that Uhroh can shoot them down and thus earn his first kill. Uhroh agrees, invoking his rune to guide them and- most miraculously- neither of them have mentioned wind once.

 The member of Delta Squad in question is none other than Mirage.

So very fortunately for Mirage, the incredibly fiery and vain Booger has elected not to fight and has in fact just fucked off, along with the Twins leaving Immelman conveniently free to hurry to her rescue now.

But wait, there's a problem, he's being prevented from getting close enough to try his usual battle tactic of ignoring his guns in favor of playing rock-em-sock-em-jetmech. By what?

What a shock.

So, he's going to have to actually use one of those many many guns on his custom-modified war machine.

So he does. Despite hating guns and almost certainly never practicing with them in any meaningful way his aim is true and Uhroh's jetmech is destroyed just before he succeeds in killing Mirage. Uhroh ejects from the jetmech, but Uh-Oh Uhroh is caught in the explosion of the vehicle.

This probably happened to Uhroh because he didn't say 'Wind' enough. Very un-winderemerely.

Anyhow with both Mirage and Immelman now floating in space, apparently incapable of movement death is certain to come. Perhaps from Master Hermann, who just saw his favorite rookie blown to bits.

Oh, no, Roid calls the Wind Wind of Wind to inform him that Prince Princess is recalling the Knights. The Wind Wind of Wind is understandably upset, given that the battle has gone entirely their way and victory would just be a matter of mopping up- but he dare not defy the will of Prince Princess... so the Blowhard Knights depart.

Now it's Feel Bad for Immelman Having to Kill a Guy Time.

Oh, and Mikumo berates Pixie for flinching at being called a traitor before rambling oddly about voices echoing across the galaxy and then asking her questions like 'Why do you stand on stage? What is your purpose? What feelings do you put into your singing?' and then to think through those questions once more.

And then when Pixie has answers, she can give them to Mikumo- who is desperately trying to deflect that they have no real idea what they are doing, being utterly insane as they are.

Seems a bit hypocritical to me, but if Mikumo is doing anything right it's probably The Spartan Treatment. Which is, again, so very wrong.

After this it's time for more pity for Immelman. Mirage personally chips in to help buck up the borderline autistic manchild who in a pinch ultimately decided to do his job rather than let her die.

Her words ring true and Immelman realizes that since everyone around him is risking their lives, he can accept ghosting a sucka.

Pixie, eavesdropping on their conversation from a hiding spot, seems less certain.

Finally, we at the end as the Wind Wind of Wind takes his brother Prince Princess to see a sparking crater on Windermere, which is very sad for them both for some reason. Miraculously, they both manage to avoid saying Wind.

In any case, let's end on a superior Musical Girl Squad.

I guess. Well, they're all clearly more stable than Mikumo at least.

Macross Delta Episode 5 : Prince Princess

Ok, it's been a week. I am two updates behind. If anyone has been anxiously awaiting developments, I apologize. If impatient, please comment or pester me by other means.

So when we left off the Blowhard Knights of Windermere had formed up to formally declare war on the New Unified Government, hereby referred to exclusively as NUG. To further explain the cause for their war they explain that NUG came to them under a banner of friendship and with a treaty of exploitative corporate greed- which does indeed sound VERY human. Yes, apparently this treaty allowed NUG to take the lionshare of profits from a undefined everything prompting them to undertake a war for independence- the necessity for which implies this was a very strange sort of treaty again.

After securing their independence- good on them- they resolved to drive the NUG out of the Brisingle Globular cluster, henceforth exclusively called the Glob.

So in short, if the Windermeercats could refrain from using the Roidrage Mind Control music- which should be banned by any given Space Geneva Convention- it would not in fact be clear they are the bad guys.

Ohey, before I get carried away with that- today's episode comes with a special advertisement!

Who can remember such hits as :

Let's Have Fun Inside of You
Unreachable Edge
Uncertain Cosmic Movements
I'm Almost There
Satisfy Me Tonight
Sweet 14
Gigli Tick
Come At Me Just Like That

And of course the final credits song:

When It's Erect And Shiny (pictured)

I sure can't!

So the Declaration of War Speech ends and apparently the Blowhard Knights of Windermere cleared their throats awkwardly, coughed and waved goodbye before blasting off again before Delta Squad remembered they were fighting and in fact officially at war now.

This is all off-camera, so your guess is as good as mine. Whatever the case, we find Musical Girl Squad and their Escorts the Dolta Squadron chilling in the UltraMegazord eating jellyfish chips. Which even the creepy green haired one what professed earlier to only eating Jellyfish raw, eats.

But that was probably just to shoot down the pilot who was flirting with them in episode 1. She's in a committed relationship with a woman incapable of using full first names and can only describe any given thing as cute. She's not going to jeopardize that for jellyfish potstickers.

But I digress.

Where was I. Right. So, Commander Arad and Ernest turn up to call everyone into the briefing room where they explain that Windermere is a planet with a Dimensional Barrier around it, presumably protecting it from NUG infestation. They also find out that the Blowhards pilot fancy jetmechs called  SV-262 Draken IIIs. The Blowhards are winged knights in service to the quaintly archaic royal family of Windermere.

Also that the ace pilot is called the White Knight, but is in a jetmech that is now black despite being initially colored silver for dramatic reasons that probably don't boil down to someone forgetting to use some damn polish on the thing. The White Knight and Commander Arad are implied to have some manner of history, having presumably met when Arad was on Windermere during it's war for independence.

Somehow I doubt Arad was fighting to help lift the NUG's boot off of Windermere's neck.

We also learn that the Windermeercats are not responsible for ALL of the cases of Roidrage, but certainly the cases involving strong biocrinklewaves.

Experiments of course, which Windermere has profited from by learning how to use Roidrage precisely, which allowed them to conquer the planet Vordor without a fight.

It's at this point we learn that they do this via a song which only Musical Girl Squad and certain Delta Squad pilots. The twist for me was learning that the singer was a boy. Yes, that's right, the person I was calling Princess all this time was actually Prince.

I can't imagine how I could have been mistaken. Clearly a dude.

At this point Mikumo -the crazy purple haired member of Walkure who babbles about the Goddess which she may or may not believe SHE is- expresses her respect for the to-them unknown Prince, who so rapidly enslaved the Var-infected, which she finds impressive.

She also makes the displays in the room appear to show a wall of blue fire at a touch, because no one has listened to her deranged cries for help yet and that just means the volume is going to get turned up and up.

"SEA OF STARS, CALL ME A PADDED WAGON! VROOM VROOM!"

Anyhow, Manic Pixie Dream Girl suspects the singer is a Wind Singer, which is a Windermeercat Legend. The hint was that it has Wind in it. Windermere, where everything of note is Wind-something. If they were any more monomaniacal it would be Planet Wind, Home of the Wind who wind in their winds and wind against the wind of the wind against their wind with disingenuous exploitative wind forcing their wind against other winds to drive out the wind via use of wind to wind winds until wind wind winds.

Cut to Planet Wind. The Wind are enjoying life as winds when suddenly the winds return! I mean, the peasants are enjoying life at the immutable bottom of their social ladder when they see the Blowhard Knights have returned to deliver news of their military successes to the hereditary culturally endorsed Tyrant of their world, King Wind.

He is of course pleased to hear that the Blowhard Knights have freed not one, but TWO planets. Which is novel given that Walkure only knows about the surrender of Vordor. That, or Walkure got their asses kicked offscreen in the last episode and lost that planet too and no one wants to talk about it.

The bad news is all of this has all strained Prince Princess Heinz more than expected as a result they note...

Wherein the Master Sword sleeps, far too dignified to appear in this series.

Roid suggests they may need to reconsider their strategy of having Prince Princess Heinz won planets for them, but King Wind reassures them.

...and bring destruction upon the earthlings. I mean, bring wind upon the wind, leaving only wind.

 I think he perhaps doesn't care that much about the health of Prince Princess Heinz. Meh. Meanwhile it is clear that King Wind is ancient by Windmeercat standards, maybe even 35. A point not lost on Roid.

Roid notes while consoling himself by admiring his extensive collection of novelty reading glasses with a nice glass of wind.

Some other Blowhard the name of whom I don't recall is annoyed that Roid is concerned with the health of King Wind and Prince Princess Heinz- which makes sense as I do recall that he is the brother of Prince Princess Heinz and is thus likely in line for the throne.

Roid, it turns out, believes that his people are the true heirs of the Protoculture and are solely obligated to guide the people of the Glob in the right direction. Presumably as vassals to the windy throne. Not just to kill people.

Meanwhile two presumed Blowhard Knights are chatting, one of them still alive at age 33, when they are suddenly attacked by Booger. Master Hermann, the impossibly old one, effortlessly dodges all of Booger's attacks, who reminds Booger he's not Booger's Master anymore when he calls him that.

Hermann asks how long Booger will keep trying to stab him, at which point Booger says 'when he can land a hit of course'. Hermann takes this admission of planned elder abuse in stride. Meanwhile Booger needs him to look at something.

I... guess it is. They keep saying they're runes. Glittery head tentacles of an apparently erotic nature are odd to sum up as runes though.

Booger smells the pungent winds of a traitor you see. Her wind winds his wind wind, and as a result his own head tentacles start getting all glittery- prompting a chiding from his elders. Booger can't control his rune you see, just starts glittering all over the place when he's excited apparently.

Very rude.

 Hermann briefly ponders the Windermeercat in Walkure and then we cut back to Goof Troop and Musical Girl Squad, meeting already in progress.

The Autonomous Planetary Government of Ragna has made additional demands of Musical Girl Squad. Specifically now that they are for some reason at war with Windemere, they want Musical Girl Squad to defend against Windemere's military actions and not just the Roidrage. Chaos, the Private Military Corporation- you know, like Blackwater- cannot technically force the civilian contractees they rather recklessly issue seriously military hardware to (Shlub) to accept the new contract terms. So, everyone has to decide if they want to keep their jobs and fight or be unemployed.

For some, mainly all of Musical Girl Squad's regulars, the decision is easy. The Pink Haired one couldn't possibly abandon her cute Siegfried Jetmechs, the Green Haired One couldn't possibly abandon the Pink Haired One, the Red Haired One couldn't possibly abandon Commander Arad and the Purple Haired one, as established, is unemployable in any other field on account of being the most deranged of all.

STAR GODDESSSSS

All of Delta Squad elects to stay except for Shlub who is asked to think about it.This leaves Pixie needing to decide between employment and dream of being a Musical Girl versus going to war against her own people. Fortunately for Chaos...

At which point barking mad Mikumo there notes that it's commonly believed that Manic Pixie Freyja is in fact a Windermeercat spy. Which prompts Pixie to slap herself and vow to do all she can and more to dispel that notion.

We then cut to Shlub standing on a ledge, perhaps contemplating suicide with the curious certainty that leaping off would just cause an improbably strong wind to set him back in place safely. The God-King of Merkats briefly turns up to make him sneeze but sadly doesn't beat the shit out of him again.

Back at Rugyumyum the Pink Haired One is working on upgrades to the holographic backup dancer generating bio-crinkle amplifier drones so they can 'better work with Delta Squad'. Though what on earth Musical Girl Squad is supposed to do to military units of Windemere NOT controlled by Roidrage remains to be explained.

 Anyhow, Shlub finally wanders in as Pixie watches some space entertainment news program on the phone she stole from some kids with said kids who have either been paid or are very forgiving about it as they babble on about how she's a spy.

Suddenly THE MEDIA ambushes her. She dumbly listens to their questions, mesmerized by their flashing cameras until the other members of Musical Girl Squad and Delta present run interference, allowing Shlub to help her escape by taking advantage of The Media's inability to see people who are slightly crouched. After much running Shlub takes her to an empty beach to poke her head tentacle and make it clear to her that everyone can see she's only pretending not to be scared.

Because he is, again, an asshole.

Meanwhile she idly wonders just why everyone can't just get along. Purple space elf Mirage, Doomed Third in this vile fated Love Triangle turns up to try and reassure Pixie by talking about her grandparents, a Human and another Space Elf. Shlub can't abide that though and makes it clear to Pixie that Mirage's babbling is of no relevance whatsoever. He chides Mirage for putting too much pressure on Pixie, Mirage gets flustered for a moment but then is allowed to remember who she's speaking with.

She says she expects him to quit, because he's allergic to Mercats and keeps getting his ass kicked by one, which after he vows to kill the Mercat King leads to this bit of dialogue.

Which, by the way, is not the first time he's used this insult. Poor Mirage. You know I read the comments on a summary of this episode not long ago, which hurt. Apparently there are Teams for the two love interests. Team Mirage and Team Underage Girl Thinly Excused As a Love Interest By Alien Biology. In this case it was a comment from a member of team Mirage who want to see Mirage and Shlub hook up. I'm on Mirage's team too, only I'm pulling for her to kill him- thus saving Pixie while at it. From his predations, anyway. God knows what Mikumo has already done to her, poor kid.

"She will satisfy me again, next time we use the freestanding microphone."

Anyhow, thus thwarted by cruel facts Shlub grabs Pixie and leaves Mirage there on the beach. That'll show her for trying to encourage Pixie. No, Shlub knows what Pixie really needs while under suspicion of being a spy...

Did you guess 'to take an ungodly expensive cutting edge killing machine for a joyride?' me either, but I probably should have by now.

Goddamn it. See at this point I don't even blame Shlub. Shlub's an idiot. What is so profoundly wrong with Ernest P. Johnson's SuperAircraftCarrierVoltron that Shlub can just pop into his Jetmech and, what the hell, fly it around a bit in civilian airspace.

Even for a Private Military Corporation facility that is absurdly, recklessly, insanely lax. How often do you hear about some Private in any given military taking a conventional jet for a joyride without so much as a word to air traffic control?

The incompetence is inevitably deep here. Anyway, Pixie finds this rather romantic and thus funny- prompting her to laugh and giving Shlub an opportunity to neg on her further about her creepy laugh. Yes, I said Neg. In the distant space-future I am now quite confident that stupid hairclip is the equivalent of a Space-Fedora.

Anyway, she starts playing some music and starts into a rousing rendition of When It's Erect and Shiny. Which I will admit actually has pleasant rhythm and instrumentation, even if the translated lyrics remain batshit insane for the most part.

Speaking of batshit insane, Shlub gets so caught up in the singing he takes his hands off of the throttle and lets the jetmech stall and go into a freefall that would ultimately kill them both- if they weren't the Specials.

They are though and he regains control in time effortlessly. She complains and he compliments her singing and encourages her to sing more, so she forgives all and resolves to stay with Musical Girl Squad.

Shlub, you jackass.

This feel-good moment of wholesome romance between a lazy asshole drifter and a 14-year old in a misappropriated war machine is tragically messed up by Ace Pilot and Rare Sane Person Messer, who flies in to single-handedly enforce the barest minimum of security.

"You done Messered up, Son."

Shlub argues and Messer replies by securing a missile lock. Amazingly, this gets the point across and Shlub returns to base. There, Mirage catches up just in time to get a dose of ire from Messer as well. Shlub then jumps to her defense, at which point Messer dismisses him as beneath scolding.

Pixie then jumps to Shlub's defense, saying he did it for her and Messer simply informs her that he will be informing The Red Haired One about what happened here. Though I think I may catch a hint of resignation that implies he knows what I know.

Fuckall will come of this.

Poor Messer. The only professional in the lot. I can see the conversation with Arad.

"Commander, Cadet Immelman against orders took his Siegfried for a joyride with the Walkure recruit, Freyja."

"Huh. Did they come back?"

"Yes, though only under threat of being shot down as I had to personally retrieve them."

"Well, that seems a bit harsh..."

"Hng. What repercussions will be issued, Commander?"

"Is the cockpit sticky?"

"Commander?"

"Did they get the cockpit all disgusting and sticky, Messer?"

"I... Don't believe so, Commander."

"Meh, I'll get around to telling Immelman he was a naughty boy later. Fuck it."

"Hrng."

In a world in which everyone is comic relief, Messer is the actual comic relief. It's just darkly comic indeed. Death would be a mercy.

Anyhow, a bit of scolding and being told that for some reason it's not acceptable to treat a war machine like a toy during a war (okeydokey at other times apparently) and Shlub vows to personally end the war so that he can go back to just flying however the fuck he wants.

Messer would have been better off just walking away while chuckling bitterly, but this will do I suppose.

That poor fauxhawked bastard.

And now for the palette cleanser.