Macross Delta Episode 7 : Intrigue at Planet Catfurcon

Right, let's get to it.

When we left our insipid heroes they had just had their asses kicked so hard by the Blowhard Knights of Windermere that the Plot had to forget that Booger, Master Hermann and The Twins existed for a bit to ensure none of the Special Ones were killed before simply having all the Knights recalled from securing total victory by Prince Princess of Windermere.

This episode starts with a lecture on Protocoulture, the alien race that traveled the galaxy to explain why all the aliens look roughly human and thus still physically attractive. You can't just put tits on a Vorlon and ship it you know.

Few have tried, none have succeeded.

No, the Protoculture knew this and realized if there were going to be marketable interspecies love triangles, Mirage and Pixie couldn't look anything like a Spathi.

And so the Protoculture spread throughout the Milky Way, genetically modifying native species to their preferences. Alternatively, they were just impossibly virile and utterly without taboos regarding what you knocked up or got knocked up by. The difference is effectively just the method.

Space Humans, Space Orcs, Space Kajiiti, Protoculture 'seeded' them all.

Personally I feel this presents some solid possibilities for how Protoculture wound up going extinct.

Moving on!

Musical Girl Squad is presently orbiting the planet once ruled by Protoculturian Cat Fanciers- Voldor. The enemy has deployed fleets of Roidragers and satellites. Fortunately, Implied Lesbian Green-Haired Musical Girl is also a leet hacker and at the Pink Haired One's suggestion sets about owning the defense network.

With SPACE HACKING.

Many flying skulls later, and the Defense Network is Owned. This also holonanowhozzimifies three jetmechs and the Musical Girl Squad party jet into the dark hues of the enemy before they blast off for Voldor.

Time to have fun inside of you.

62% of Voldor is marshes you know. it's chief exports are wood, fruit and water. It has no strategic value supposedly.

Musical Girl Squad and Friends are there to infiltrate the capitol city. Immelman is a Sargent now by the way. They're really recognizing his Spacy Leadership potential.

We don't know why they're here yet, but we know they are here in disguise and since we're on the CATS planet... Will there be puns?

Of course.

Ahaha...

No one listens to Mirage, armed or not.

Right so next we learn that Kaname the Red Haired Musical Girl has, along with the cat ears and face paint, also has actual retractable claws (part of the disguise? Seems a bit much for that.). Which she uses to get a blood sample from some of the mind.controlled soldiers via a feigned scratching accident- because their bio-folds are just flapping all over the place.

Sure enough, the soldier's blood tests positive for high amount of Seidznole. Which, uh, is a vital component of Roidrage Syndrome now. Always was, that is. But the only cure is musical girl singing still. Can't just develop an antidote to Snoozenal or anything. Hah hah.

Still, that's what's causing the Var Syndrome here.

Meanwhile if you recall, Immelman is allergic to all things vaguely feline with the sole exception of himself. Naturally he starts sneezing, prompting the kindly Furcadians of Voldor to inquire as to his health, fortunately to be bailed out by his colleagues.

Mirage chides him for being unable to hold in a sneeze, which can indeed be easier said than done.

The chiding does prompt a very good question from Immelman.

I'm surprised he was allowed to ask it, because this is fairly insane still even against the background noise of general insanity this series maintains. It's not on any of their job descriptions. Even if it WAS, SURELY there would be better people available for it across uncounted planets, or even slightly worse people who are somewhat more expendable for not being the only known cure or defense for mind-controlling roidrage.

I could see sending in JUST Delta Squad, but why would they send in a 14-year-old-girl with zero military experience and indeed every one of the sole people who might be able to keep the Blowhards from rolling over another planet?

Mirage notes that this is crazy as well, but these commands come from Commander Arad, who isn't taking part himself because first- 'Experience Builds Character' and second-

Truly something so utterly bonkers can mean one of two things, the motives prompting the same behaviour. Either Commander Arad secretely works for the Windermereans and is trying to hand over Musical Girl Squad on a silver platter or... Commander Arad is looking to get a promotion.

As we have seen, gross incompetence bordering on treason is how the true leaders rise above the expendable chaff like Messer.

Arad's gunning for Ernest's job.

Or is a double agent. Really, you could just flip a coin.

Pixie reassures Mirage and Immelman that she can handle this as she was given infiltration training inbetween dance lessons and then runs off because she smells apples.

Next Pixie demonstrates her synesthesia by hearing a very sad color, which turns out to be a young furcadian girl singing at her mindcontrolled pa. It doesn't work because the little girl isn't a special.
The girl decides that it doesn't work because stupid songs cant' possibly fix this sort of thing which is a perfectly reasonable conclusion given that she's right.

It's not the stupid songs that cure Roidrage, it's the biofold whazzisures the Musical Girl Squad generates while singing.

Strictly speaking they should technically have the same effect going 'Tra la lalalala la lalalalaaa tra la lalalala la lala la laaaa' ad infinitum and strictly speaking should be doing right now instead of this crap. Ideally from a fortified location, broadcast live, most of their waking hours.

Or constantly seeking every last person in the galaxy capable of also generating these flappyblob waves and establishing Musical Girl Squads all over the place.

But I digress.

Anyhow, Pixie runs off to try and reassure the girl that Musical Girl Squad's music really can cure roidrage but is stopped by Mad Dog Mikumo for a bit of The Spartan Treatment.

Phase two, putting her to use, is prevented by the arrival of Mirage and Immelman.

Fortunately whereas simply remembering Messer looking at her disapprovingly made her crap herself, Pixie is used to far worse from Mikumo already and hardly reacts.

Mikumo has been releasing bug-like micro spy drones all this time apparently. Something that pretty much anyone with some micro spy drones could have been doing rather than the Glob's last best hope for Roidrage protection.

Via these they get to spy on a special intra-government meeting between king cat and Roid Brehm.

The short of it being that the space catpeople were ok working under the NUG but recognize they're in no place to argue with the Windermereans and their DIMENSIONAL WEAPONS, who believe they are the true heirs of the Protoculture because they are among the if not the last species the Protocultureans created.

Which does explain why Prince Princess is the Crown's Heir while his older brother is a bitter ace pilot looking to have his little bro burn himself out singing at alien antiques. Apparently to the youngest go the spoils.

It also implies to me that whatever animal the the Protocultureans fucked around with (figuratively or literally) to create the Windermereans and Voldorians and whatnot lead to Protoculture collapse. Windermerean Bird Flu maybe.

Going back to the task at hand, our insipid heroes learn Roid has had the local Protoculture ruins locked down under the pretense of academic research.

 Naturally they must investigate there next, on the off chance there is a DIMENSIONAL WEAPON. Pixie askes about these and thus we learn that they are warp space and time to cause damage and are in fact space WMDs which are, like space mind control should be, space banned by the space Geneva convention.

King Wind is basically Saddamn Hussein and Musical Girl Squad is playing at weapons inspecting.

Anyhow, according to the employees of good-guy private military corporation CHAOS in employment with the NUG, seven years ago Windermere used a dimensional weapon in their war for independance, on their own people. For reasons. Pixie had been told the NUG did it, but Mirage insists Windemere used it on the NUNs.

Pixie thinks she may have seen one as a child, but is uncertain. It might have just been a coincidental supercolossal doomsphere.

Pixie starts to say her village Elder said otherwise, but Mikumo stops her to ask...

There are good odds that this is less Mikumo suggesting the Elder was lying and more fishing to see if Pixie knows. Because Mikumo probably doesn't.

And now we cut to Prince Princess Heinz to discuss the filling of holes with his father, King Wind. King Wind knows that a dark wind blows through Heinz's wind and guesses it's because he saw the hole. That hole was bored into the hearts of all Windermereans and...

Which is an odd thing to demand if you're the one responsible for that crater.

The truth might be more complicated. Or not.

Meanwhile Mikumo hears a wind, or feels a color or something and departs the group. Pixie, for the second time this episode, coincidentally talks tough about proving themselves to her just after she leaves. Perhaps all too aware of what would happen if Mikumo was actually around to hear her.

Now it's time for Implied Lesbian Couple to break into the ruins! Which they do with a happy pop song about someone wishing their heart would stop-

I'm tempted to sympathy.

-and what appears to be a moderately powerful hallucinogen.

But they're in perfect sync, according to Immelman. The Red Haired Musical Girl, Kaname, informs us howerer that Green Haired Musical Girl Reina and Pink Haired Musical Girl Deus Ex Makina used to be mortal enemies they used to have to cancel shows over it. So it's only natural they're in love now. If you really like or really hate someone, you must be in love. The only way to avoid it is cold indifference. Messer knows this.

Anyway, they break in and find that the ruins have a cavern underneath featuring tanks and tanks full of water.

Water used heavily by the Spacy troops!

As they ponder this mystery, Mikumo is being led by voices only she can hear. Business as usual if it wasn't in this highly secured facility.

'Who am I, following? It's so hard being crazy.'

Back with the main party, they have determined the water does not in fact contain Darkseidnozlol.

But wait! Pixie has found more Windermerean apples, which Messer recognizes as Galactic Apples, used heavily by the Spacy troops!

But they don't contain roidragenol either.

Now this is all very silly for many reasons, not the least of which being that the Spacy has been using apples from a planet they have been sorta-kinda at war with for the past seven years.

Suddenly an alarm goes off and Booger turns up to babble about disturbed winds and to direct brainwashed guards around.

The red haired musical girl Kaname orders everyone to prepare to leave and gather as many samples as they can of the apples and water. Immelman questions this, ignoring Mirage's chidings not to question and get moving. Because they are being surrounded by security.

No one listens to Mirage though, least of all Immelman, so he stops to ponder why they are taking the water and apples and decides to do a sudden experiment. Right then, with security closing in.

Putting a bit of apple in a water bottle they shake it and it turns out that the combination results in the Roidrage Toxin, Plotinol.

So they all stand around, stock still, while Kaname slowly explains what this all means.

Messer and Mirage are likely wondering silently why they are working with these dumbasses again.

Elsewhere, Mikumo is singing to the ruins. Likely in hopes of turning the Roidragers into her slaves or simply doing the bidding of the new addition to the voices in her head..

The main group has bigger problems. It turns out standing in one place for a long period of time while being persued has had an adverse effect. A security wall goes up dividing Immelman, Mirage and Pixie from the rest of the group. Immelman finds a secondary escape route that puts them right into the hands of...

Booger and the Blowhards!

Roll credits!

Well, at least they only captured Immelman, Mirage and Pixie. Those three are effectively immortal. Far too much of a hassle to alter the opening credits this early in. However much I may want Immelman dead.